Finding the Proverbs 31 Woman

I was a married with 2 kids before I ever heard a sermon on being a ‘Proverbs 31 Woman’. I didn’t know what the preacher was talking about, not that I had never read the passage, I just never understood it to be something women thought they should aspire to. Not long later my husband jokingly said something about me trying to be more like a Proverbs 31 woman. I (not so) jokingly replied, that seeing her husband provided her with servants, when he provided me with some, I would strive to be like her. It has been running joke in our house ever since.

But all jokes aside, the Proverbs 31 Woman was first presented to me as a blueprint for being a godly woman, or a kind of checklist for being a good wife. But have you ever noticed that many of these modern depictions have morphed her into a 1950’s house wife? The perfect picture of domesticity. Others spiritualise the entire section and every description is turned to a application for Christian living. But, I have since learnt that many Christians interpret this passage as a personification of wisdom, a repeat of the metaphor in Proverbs 8 – 9. And when we read both these passages side by side, the similarities are very clear and apparent.

The Bible is an enduring book, full of truth. But it wasn’t written in a vacuum and too often we are guilty of only reading it through our own modern Western lens. Living in a developing country for 8 years, and observing the women there got me to reexamine this entire passage. It made me re-think the qualities chosen to personify wisdom as a wife. Living in a hand-to-mouth agricultural society gave me a deeper, often quite literal understanding for many Bible passages. Passages we spiritualise or even completely misunderstand in Western Christianity, because they are so far removed from our own experiences. So, today we will be focusing on some these overlooked qualities of the original women I believe inspired this description of the Proverbs 31 Woman.

First, did you know she is valiant? The Hebrew word ‘chayil’ used twice in Proverbs 31 is usually translated valour, valiant, power, or strength (eg. Joshua 8:3, 1 Samuel 31:12, 1 Samuel 9:1, 2 Samuel 22:40.) It can also mean ‘army’ or ‘forces’. The English translators only chose the word ‘virtuous’ four times (Ruth 3:11, Proverbs 12:4, 31:10, 29), and only when it is used to describe a woman. We can see this most clearly in the story of Ruth. In chapter 3 Boaz says of her,

“All the city of my people know that thou art a chayil woman.” (Ruth 3:11)

But consider from the previous chapter, what Ruth is actually known for: one, leaving her own parents and caring for Naomi (Ruth 2:11), and two, it is reported that she gleaned all through the barley and wheat harvest from morning till evening (2:7, 2:18, 2:23). That is approximately 7 weeks of hard physical work from Passover to Pentecost. The city of Bethlehem actually knew Ruth for being loyal and determined. The Proverbs 31 woman, like Ruth, was valiant.

Secondly, the Proverbs 31 woman, just like Ruth, also does physical labour. Yes, she sews and provides food, but she also plants a vineyard (v16). That’s strenuous and exhausting work. When we lived in Niugini I personally planted and maintained acres of gardens by hand. This was necessary work, those gardens provided food for my family. And I can attest, planting an entire garden by hand is hard labour. And depending on the ground and size it can take days or weeks of preparation and planting, even with help.

Thirdly, we are told 3 times about the strength of the Proverbs 31 woman (v17, 25). Westerners love to spiritualise her strength or describe it as a personal attribute to do with her character. But look at what is actually described as strong:

SHE GIRDS HERSELF WITH STRENGTH, AND STRENGTHENS HER ARMS

She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms (Proverbs 31:17).

That isn’t just code for something else. We are told she is physically strong. It's describing the kind of physical strength she would need to plant a vineyard in just the verse before. And further, strength and honour are her clothing (v25). She wears her strength for others to see, her strength is something she is known for; again, just like Ruth.

Fourth, she isn’t idle (v27), and this idleness is connected directly to hunger. In the ancient world, if you were lazy and slothful you quite literally didn’t eat. Proverbs 24 includes a section that describes the vineyard of the slothful man. It is grown over with thorns and nettles and the fence has fallen down. Solomon connects the man’s previous idleness to his current poverty and hunger (Proverbs 24:30-14). Even in Niugini today, if you are too lazy to maintain a garden, later you will have no food, literally. But the Proverbs 31 woman looks ahead, she plans for the winter when no crops will grow. She isn’t completing a 2 week menu plan; she’s planning crop rotations. And she works hard enough that she has enough to share with the poor.

And finally she is praised for her works. We are told she deserves the ‘fruit of her hands’ (Proverbs 31:31). That is the same earnings she used to plant a vineyard (v16). And she is praised publicly, in the gates. (v31). She is praised for 2 things: fearing the Lord (v30) and for her works. We could even make a list of those works: she seeks wool and flax, works with her hands, she brings in food, rises while it is night, gives food to her household, she buys a field and plants a vineyard, she girds her loins, strengthens her arms, works into the night, she weaves, helps the poor, she makes clothing, she makes linen and sells it, she sells girdles, she speak words of wisdom and kindness, and she looks after her household.

The Proverbs 31 woman is valiant, she is strong, she does hard work, she buys and sells, she is prepared for the tough times, she is wise and kind; and she fears the Lord. She was the kind of woman with the strength to hammer a nail through the enemy’s head and help win the battle (Judges 4:21-22), who could lead an army of the Lord’s people (Judges 4:9), who could glean for 7 weeks straight to provide her mother-in-law with food (Ruth 2:23), who could cast part of a millstone from a tower at the enemy to bring about victory (Judges 9:53-56), who could circumcise her own son to save her husband’s life before he led the Lord’s people out of Egypt (Exodus 4:24-26), or had the strength to draw enough water for thirsty camels and was willing to travel to a foreign land (Genesis 24:19-61).

I personally know lots women in Niugini like the original one described in of Proverbs 31. Women who physically labour to provide their families with food, working tirelessly to earn enough to provide their family with clothing, collecting drinking water in a bucket, washing clothes in the creek, and using firelight to work into the night. Women with a job list that never ends and a body made strong from work, who are known for their loyalty, determination and wisdom; who also love God. Proverbs 31 is really describing a woman from an agricultural time: hard working, not scared to get her hands dirty, tireless in labour, because her actual life and that of her family depended on it. And she was worth more than rubies.

When King Lemuel's mother taught him this passage she was teaching him from a long tradition of historical, brave, strong, ancient women. But it is also worth noting, we are not actually instructed to be the Proverbs 31 Woman, or even aspire to be her. This passage isn’t given as a checklist for being the perfect wife, or as a list of specifics for all Christians.

Rather, the text personifies wisdom as a woman who is valiant, strong, hard working, prepared, kind and fearing the Lord. And if they are the qualities that define Godly wisdom, I think all of us could do with a lot more wisdom in our lives.

Made for His Glory,